i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
