i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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