Sponge bath it is.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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