he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
