covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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