i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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