I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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