What a fucking waste of an outfit
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my being single is dangerous.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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