you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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