And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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