If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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