Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
