I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
