i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
