Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
