I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize