Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
