my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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