It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Can i not drive my cunt home
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
