you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
