I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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