Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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