I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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