your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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