she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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