I didn't shave. On purpose
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
