You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
