Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
