Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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