She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
