So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
