So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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