he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
