Me. At least after what I've been through.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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