i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
