where am i from again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
