): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
