On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
