i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
