Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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