jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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