So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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