Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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