this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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