I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
worst night to have a conscience
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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