I am in a vortex of obligation.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Houston, we have a squirter
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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