and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
