make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
