Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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