Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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