She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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