We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
