The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
