I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
