Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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