So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
