Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
