News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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