NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
my liver is dry heaving
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
