Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
