Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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