You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
