So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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