What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
